Our plans for next year are very up-in-the-air at the moment. One thing that is up in the air is whether or not I will be able to be teaching next year.
So every day off now is like a trial day. Can I do this? Be home with the baby all day?
One concern was whether I would be productive. I learned today to be more specific with my concerns. Oh, I was productive. Six or seven freshly made challot (challah loaves), heaps of chocolate chip cookies, cranberry and cranberry/blueberry scones. Dinner just about on the table, hubs about to walk in the door... this was a full day of work, easily. (Add in taking care of The Deentz and leaving the house tidy after all that baking!)
The problem is, this isn't the kind of productive I meant when I created that concern.
I meant, can I run the house, get good bonding time in with the baby (being a work-from-home-mom hardly pays if you're just shoving a toy in front of the baby and working the whole time) and DO MY JOB from home?
I hope today isn't cause for concern.
I have plenty to be doing and lots of exciting articles going up (stay tuned!). But I just couldn't get myself to stay here in front of the computer. The only argument in my defense is that this chair is AWFUL. I literally start to ache within a minute of sitting down. Maybe it's time to cash in the massage hubs bought me for last Rosh Chodesh........
So there's my conundrum of the day. I've learned how to get off my tush and get to work... but how to stop getting to the wrong kind of work and refocus?
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Friday, January 28, 2011
Monday, September 13, 2010
The Toolbox
(which is based on a series of lectures by Rebbetzin Esther Greenberg). Basically, the idea goes like this: if you were a construction worker with some kind with an intelligent foreman for a boss, you could show up at work one day and, based entirely on what is in your toolbox and where you are, figure out what you are meant to do that day at work. Of course, we are the worker and Gd is the foreman. Our gifts and passions are within our toolbox and our life's circumstances are the setting. Ok, now that I've butchered that I can move on.
I was recently fortunate to spend a Shabbos meal with some NYU students, including a woman who recently graduated from the same theater program I went to. We discussed our shared feelings of conflict over being theater artists who had become passionate about our Judaism. We came to term our Torah learning a "wakening of the sleeping giant." Inconvenient, but ultimately not something one can ignore. There's a giant in the room. An awake one. That changes the situation.
So here we are, albeit still in two somewhat different places, trying to figure out this delicate balance between our creative gifts and passions and the indescribable beauty of Torah and a Torah lifestyle.
And I think it is starting to be time to check out that back burner which has been caring for my artistic soul for the last two years while I've explored a new part of myself.
While I am happy with the choices I've made and certainly wouldn't take anything back, I am inarguably in a different place than I ever expected to be.
Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht. (Yiddish proverb- Man plans and Gd laughs.)
Forget the Orthodox Jewish bit (if you can fit that pink elephant into the corner for a moment, thank you). How about the married bit? The imminently arriving BABY bit? The--dare I say it--living in SUBURBAN NEW JERSEY bit?
This was not the plan. And I'd spent a good decade crafting this plan. And I spent much of the last two years trying to craft a NEW fabulous plan that would make this all fit neatly together. Way to learn the lesson, self.
And yet, I wouldn't change a thing. No, this is not the route to my Oscar. Nor are we buying our one-way tickets to Israel any time soon. How unglamorous of us.
On the other hand, I am currently engaged in the single most creative act known to mankind. THIS SECOND. And this one.
It's time to accept that this is not the workplace I anticipated. The needs of the world I live in now are not the needs I thought I would one day fill. What I have to offer will not be received the way I had planned out. Nu? It's taken me two years to come to terms with this? I've been observing this phenomenon for all this time without swallowing that pill (which ultimately I don't think is even such a bad pill to swallow!).
It's time to look into the toolbox, get a good lay of the land, and start building.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Thoughts on Pregnancy or... Birth Control For The Weak-Hearted or... Things I'd Post On Facebook But I Think You'd Judge Me
1. I was under the mistaken impression that an unborn child couldn't keep you up all night.
In reality, I feel like this:
All the time.
2. It used to seem logical that if you were exhausted at 9 PM, you could probably go to bed.
In reality, exhaustion at 9 PM is really just your body playing a cruel trick because really, right before you fall asleep, you'll bounce back and be full of energy until about 3 AM at which point you've read enough about the Salmonella crisis to finally peel your eyelids off your hairline and consider nodding off. Oh, and that Camomile tea (which I haven't been able to sleep one night without) will make sure that you're up again around 5 AM. And wired. Because who can sleep after three nightmares in a row about a missing nursery and nowhere to put the baby? (Why THIS bothers me is a bit confusing... we know we won't have a nursery so it's a moot point. Wouldn't my brain be more entertained with anxiety over birth or car seats?)
3. If a pregnant woman's appetite is supposed to be justified by the phrase "eating for two," I'm taking it upon myself to release this PSA to all expecting women. Sometimes baby invites thirty friends over for a dinner party, and you'll be expected to feed them all. NOW. Gd help anyone who gets in your way.
4. I was also certain until recently that the baby could not get a hold of bricks and Leggos until after the actual birth. But, having reviewed human anatomy and finding nothing that could possibly be so hard and stabby as what's sticking out of my tummy, I'm convinced that somebody's providing toys to baby. And I'm thinking of suing.
Thank Gd for new shoes, new makeup, (so at least I don't look quite as bad as I feel) and a hubby who's learned very quickly that when I stop using full sentences, he's going to be in charge of dishes that night.
And when I never managed a full sentence in the first place, we'll be ordering pizza.
In reality, I feel like this:
2. It used to seem logical that if you were exhausted at 9 PM, you could probably go to bed.
In reality, exhaustion at 9 PM is really just your body playing a cruel trick because really, right before you fall asleep, you'll bounce back and be full of energy until about 3 AM at which point you've read enough about the Salmonella crisis to finally peel your eyelids off your hairline and consider nodding off. Oh, and that Camomile tea (which I haven't been able to sleep one night without) will make sure that you're up again around 5 AM. And wired. Because who can sleep after three nightmares in a row about a missing nursery and nowhere to put the baby? (Why THIS bothers me is a bit confusing... we know we won't have a nursery so it's a moot point. Wouldn't my brain be more entertained with anxiety over birth or car seats?)
3. If a pregnant woman's appetite is supposed to be justified by the phrase "eating for two," I'm taking it upon myself to release this PSA to all expecting women. Sometimes baby invites thirty friends over for a dinner party, and you'll be expected to feed them all. NOW. Gd help anyone who gets in your way.
4. I was also certain until recently that the baby could not get a hold of bricks and Leggos until after the actual birth. But, having reviewed human anatomy and finding nothing that could possibly be so hard and stabby as what's sticking out of my tummy, I'm convinced that somebody's providing toys to baby. And I'm thinking of suing.
Thank Gd for new shoes, new makeup, (so at least I don't look quite as bad as I feel) and a hubby who's learned very quickly that when I stop using full sentences, he's going to be in charge of dishes that night.
And when I never managed a full sentence in the first place, we'll be ordering pizza.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Rebbetzin Levitan is a FlyBaby?
I've written about FlyLady before, but this takes the cake!
Today, Rebbetzin Levitan, super-shadchan, marriage and dating counselor/speaker extroardinaaire, and author of the very popular new book, I Only Want to Get Married Once: Dating Secrets for Getting It Right the First Time
, just wrote in a testimonial to FlyLady!
I was so surprised to see this in my inbox! Check it out!
"Dear FlyLady,
The book you are holding would not have been written if not for a very special email I received from you in 2008. I am writing to thank you and to share my experience with you. The words in your email that really impacted me were:
"So how do we stop this sensory overload? We have to pull the plugs! Let's practice turning off and tuning in… This is how I wrote my first book. I had made myself a strict routine for the morning… My goal was to write ten pages or three hours whichever came first. To accomplish this goal I had some rules for myself."
You then listed a bunch of very important rules including: Doing morning routines, not turning on the email, browser or instant messenger program and most importantly, no answering the phone.
You then wrote, "I started my day at 7:30am by 8:00am. I was ready to start writing and by 11:00am I was finished with ten pages or I worked for three hours. In two weeks I had a manuscript. Do you see what you can accomplish when you turn off the distractions and tune into your brain power.
When I read your email, I was literally blown away. I never heard of someone writing a book in 2 weeks. I was amazed. Now, I had been considering writing a book based on my lecture series on relationships. Many people were pushing me to put my lectures into writing, but I always said, "I don't have time to write a book. I run a lively home, together with my husband. We have a handful of beautiful kids and I also have five teaching jobs. On top of this, I also freelance lecture and counsel people. When exactly do you expect me to write a book???"
All of a sudden, after reading your email, my excuses didn't hold water. If a book could be written in a short time, well then I could do it. I just needed some focused time. So that was it. I said to myself, "If FlyLady could write a book in two weeks, I could write one in four!" And that's exactly what I set out to do.
In June 2008, I sat down to write my book. I wasn't as good with my morning routines as you were. And I didn't stop writing after three hours. Actually, as soon as I started writing I couldn't stop… until it all came out. Although I didn't quite make my four week deadline, seven weeks later, I had a manuscript! (Thanks to a lot of patience and support from my husband and kids as well) But FlyLady, if not for you email, I am convinced that I never would've written my book. It was published iin February, 2010 and I have already received a tremendous amount of positive feedback from people who have been helped by my book. This is all in your merit! I cannot thank you enough! Perhaps other people will be inspired to accomplish big projects based on your email together with my response. If you want to print this email as a testimonial, it would be my pleasure.
FlyLady, once again, I have no words to thank you. You are an inspiration to so many people, may you always be blessed with the wisdom, strength, health and good heart that you have to continue making a difference in so many people's lives.
With endless gratitude,
Chana Levitan
Jerusalem Israel"
Today, Rebbetzin Levitan, super-shadchan, marriage and dating counselor/speaker extroardinaaire, and author of the very popular new book, I Only Want to Get Married Once: Dating Secrets for Getting It Right the First Time
, just wrote in a testimonial to FlyLady!I was so surprised to see this in my inbox! Check it out!
"Dear FlyLady,
The book you are holding would not have been written if not for a very special email I received from you in 2008. I am writing to thank you and to share my experience with you. The words in your email that really impacted me were:
"So how do we stop this sensory overload? We have to pull the plugs! Let's practice turning off and tuning in… This is how I wrote my first book. I had made myself a strict routine for the morning… My goal was to write ten pages or three hours whichever came first. To accomplish this goal I had some rules for myself."
You then listed a bunch of very important rules including: Doing morning routines, not turning on the email, browser or instant messenger program and most importantly, no answering the phone.
You then wrote, "I started my day at 7:30am by 8:00am. I was ready to start writing and by 11:00am I was finished with ten pages or I worked for three hours. In two weeks I had a manuscript. Do you see what you can accomplish when you turn off the distractions and tune into your brain power.
When I read your email, I was literally blown away. I never heard of someone writing a book in 2 weeks. I was amazed. Now, I had been considering writing a book based on my lecture series on relationships. Many people were pushing me to put my lectures into writing, but I always said, "I don't have time to write a book. I run a lively home, together with my husband. We have a handful of beautiful kids and I also have five teaching jobs. On top of this, I also freelance lecture and counsel people. When exactly do you expect me to write a book???"
All of a sudden, after reading your email, my excuses didn't hold water. If a book could be written in a short time, well then I could do it. I just needed some focused time. So that was it. I said to myself, "If FlyLady could write a book in two weeks, I could write one in four!" And that's exactly what I set out to do.
In June 2008, I sat down to write my book. I wasn't as good with my morning routines as you were. And I didn't stop writing after three hours. Actually, as soon as I started writing I couldn't stop… until it all came out. Although I didn't quite make my four week deadline, seven weeks later, I had a manuscript! (Thanks to a lot of patience and support from my husband and kids as well) But FlyLady, if not for you email, I am convinced that I never would've written my book. It was published iin February, 2010 and I have already received a tremendous amount of positive feedback from people who have been helped by my book. This is all in your merit! I cannot thank you enough! Perhaps other people will be inspired to accomplish big projects based on your email together with my response. If you want to print this email as a testimonial, it would be my pleasure.
FlyLady, once again, I have no words to thank you. You are an inspiration to so many people, may you always be blessed with the wisdom, strength, health and good heart that you have to continue making a difference in so many people's lives.
With endless gratitude,
Chana Levitan
Jerusalem Israel"
Monday, July 12, 2010
Practical Shoes
After much thought about last night's traumatic visit to DSW (why do shoe stores seem so exciting and then so quickly become overwhelming?) I started doing some serious online hunting for cute, practical shoes. There MUST be such a thing. For a girl who wears only skirts, a bad pair of shoes is just too prominent a fashion faux-pas.
So here's the wish-list.
These boat shoes by our favorite shoe maker, Merrell, definitely fit the bill. I've never tried on a Merrell shoe that didn't feel fabulous... and this one looks it, too. Six different splendid colors of comfy-yet-dainty shoeage. Swoon.
Dansko shoes strike me as generally too clunky but with the right, nicely tailored skirt and a clever shirt, these could round off a perfect Shabbos outfit without keeping you sitting at home wondering what's going on at the other side of town.
And as gorgeous as these baby blue Born flats are...
An alternative flat would be Crocs Crocband Flat, which I love in navy with red and white accents. Too bad I didn't find these before the 4th of July!
I ended up with a sportier (and apparently no longer available) version of this Mary Jane from Anne Klein Sport. The material on the upper is more athletic, the strap is a smidge further back, and the heel is more sneaker-like, but this gives a general idea. It might not be a match made in heaven, but it's a big step up from my favorite go-to Old Navy flip-flops. My back is thanking me already.
So here's the wish-list.
These boat shoes by our favorite shoe maker, Merrell, definitely fit the bill. I've never tried on a Merrell shoe that didn't feel fabulous... and this one looks it, too. Six different splendid colors of comfy-yet-dainty shoeage. Swoon.
Dansko shoes strike me as generally too clunky but with the right, nicely tailored skirt and a clever shirt, these could round off a perfect Shabbos outfit without keeping you sitting at home wondering what's going on at the other side of town.
And as gorgeous as these baby blue Born flats are...
true flats must become a thing of the past, at least for another few months. 1 1/2-2" is apparently the way to go when your center of gravity is being gradually pushed forward from the midsection.
An alternative flat would be Crocs Crocband Flat, which I love in navy with red and white accents. Too bad I didn't find these before the 4th of July!
I ended up with a sportier (and apparently no longer available) version of this Mary Jane from Anne Klein Sport. The material on the upper is more athletic, the strap is a smidge further back, and the heel is more sneaker-like, but this gives a general idea. It might not be a match made in heaven, but it's a big step up from my favorite go-to Old Navy flip-flops. My back is thanking me already.
Ok, enough shoes for one day.
Time to put that nesting instinct to use.
Massive three-part picture post... it's been a while!
PART ONE: The Belly
If authors were honest, books on pregnancy would have these words of advice under "pregnancy fashion"
If you really care, don't get pregnant.
Because it doesn't matter how much money you have and how fabulous the designers are that are making the clothes, eventually you will, like me, find yourself in the -- I have trouble typing this -- Practical Shoes section of DSW wanting to hide your face in shame.
Ah yes! It's out! I did some "advanced calculations" and decided that the chances of anyone but my mom reading this beats the likelihood of running (big belly first) into a friend not-yet-in-the-know so I might as well get the process down on record.
So here's where we've been while I wasn't posting because who can post about anything else when you're GOING TO HAVE A BABY?!? (G-d willing!)
So, here's the little bugger from a few weeks ago... this shirt doesn't fit anymore. That was fast.
PART TWO: The Food
This is for Whitney, who requested photos, here was the massive erev Shabbos cook-off from last week. We had some amazing guests and a really lovely time. I'm a huge fan of making lots at a time, in small batches, and freezing. Here are the 16 baby challahs that I baked. I won't be baking challah again for a few months :)
Or my absolute favorite carrot cake...
(The recipe is no longer online! Such a shame! This cake is packed with raisins, walnuts and, of course, shredded carrots. Deeelicious.)
Finally, here's a preview of what I couldn't take pictures of because it was made (or finished cooking) on Shabbos. Our chulent, some amazing fresh cherries, and the pineapple that's left from the chicken which turned into an amazing fruit salad. We also had dips, gefilte fish, a regular romaine salad, an Asian cabbage salad, and another fruit salad. Mmm...
PART THREE: Boston
We went on a fabulous overnight to Boston for 4th of July (although the only thing we DIDN'T do was fireworks!) It was amazing to do the fun road trip, see open roads and SPACE (something we miss dearly in NJ), and get away from our crazy heat wave.
Our view as the sun was coming up on the highway... about two hours into the trip. (We left at 4 AM after a brief nap. Fenway was the next day, which kept us going strong, but we opted to watch the fireworks from the comfort of our hotel room bed.)
We had a difficult time trying to figure out why there were so many parking spots available We spent a good ten minutes looking for hidden signs until we realized we're just not in NY anymore.
Our view from the bleachers at Fenway, by far the highlight of our trip, despite the fact that the Red Sox seemed to think they were also on vacation. That would be the one and only head between us and the (far far back of) the field. Very exciting :)
Obligatory stadium shot. Omri looks so hot in Red Sox paraphernalia.
The highlight of Omri's Fenway foray. Meat and milk vending machines that "cook" your kosher food for you--and you STILL get to pay outrageous ballpark prices! (They were small, but surprisingly good!)
Future Fan t-shirt. Of course I bought it!
Proof that Omri's really a Jewish hippie at heart. He went a night without sleeping to make sure he'd make minyan Sunday morning in Boston, but on Monday, he got to get in touch with his inner Chassid.
Finally, some silly tourist-y pictures to round it out:
Finally, some silly tourist-y pictures to round it out:
Conclusion: road trips are awesome, especially with an Omri.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Yum!
1. Chop a TON of veggies (I have something like what you see to the right. I use the grid one so they're teeny cubed veggies.) Mushrooms, yellow and orange peppers, eggplant, carrots, sweet potatoes... whatever is fresh and in season.
2. Night one: serve 1/3 of veggies, seasoned to your liking, on top of your favorite tomato sauce and whole wheat pasta. Top with some yummy cheese. (And, if you're us, dirty martinis!)
3. Night two: put the second 1/3 of veggies on the stovetop. Add mushroom or vegetable broth. Use an immersion blender. Now you have soup! Serve with some garlic bread, couscous, etc.4. Night three: take the final 1/3 and add to the stovetop. Add (much less) broth. Add a can of coconut milk and blend. You will want to season differently because now you have a delicious curry! Serve with whole grain brown or basmati rice.
Enjoy! YUM!
I get inspired by veggies. Is that wrong?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
healthy living
I just had the most therapeutic kitchen mopping experience ever. Thank Gd. I had no idea how much the kitchen floor was bothering me!!!
But I'm also less-than-satisfied with our lifestyle, health-wise. I learned at Tisch to love body work, exercise, and healthy living. I want to get back to that. I get all starry eyed walking through Sporting Goods stores and I had a near-religious experience in the Kripalu giftshop. But that's not sufficient.
So Omri and I know we're in a big learning process. And it truly feels like it some days. I'm learning how to manage a house, feed our little family properly, do errands. On top of that, we're adjusting to a new community and the major lifestyle changes that that includes... especially as neither of us grew up as religious Jews. Finally, I'm learning how to teach... as I do it. Which ends up in nights like last night: 3 hours of cramming over a fifth grade history book to get my head around the differences of the 13 English colonies. Then, once I learned it, how to teach it. Then creating the materials. Thank Gd I love my job but it is not always so easy this first year.
Well, I decided to add another learning curve. Which sounds crazy, but I find that the busier I am, the better I feel. And while this running-a-house-learning-to-teach-learning-to-be-married curve is progressing nicely, it's progressing slowly. In the meantime, I'm finding other things that are lacking.
The TED video I posted yesterday reminded me that we need to really prioritize finding a social group here in town. So hopefully this Shabbat, hubby will be going to the "young" shul in Passaic and I'll follow next Shabbat. That is a good step in that direction. Oh, and an awesome young couple down the road may be coming for a meal next Shabbat as well!
But I'm also less-than-satisfied with our lifestyle, health-wise. I learned at Tisch to love body work, exercise, and healthy living. I want to get back to that. I get all starry eyed walking through Sporting Goods stores and I had a near-religious experience in the Kripalu giftshop. But that's not sufficient.But, BH, that's fixable! So my plan is to check out this amazing looking yoga studio in nearby Clifton next Monday morning.
And the second bit is where this blog comes in. I've heard friends and professionals go crazy over amazing diet changes that I just don't know anything about. I'm not talking crash diets. But, learning about whole grains, for instance. What qualifies? What does it do to help? What are best recipes to try? Or, what's so bad about caffeine? Or sugar? I love health, and I appreciate health. But I just don't know that much.
So, IY"H, I'm going to be using this blog to track the progress and report on my findings. Whole grains may have to wait, as Passover is coming and they'd get the short end of the stick. But here's the list I definitely want to start with:
Whole grains
Caffeine
Sugar
Alcohol
What else should I add to the list?
Alternatively, ages back I bought Dr. Weil's CD 8 Weeks to Optimum Health. Maybe I should start by doing his program and use the blog-part as a supplement?
Hm... leaning towards the latter.
What do you think?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Fluttering
I have a strange history with some southern ladies I've never met.
Don't worry, I intend to clarify.
In high school, I was very involved (understatement) in forensics. "What?" you ask, wondering what high schooler occupies herself with the examination of crime scenes.
Ohhh... not that kind of forensics. Forensics is the inexplicable moniker that's replaced "speech and debate" since "speech and debate" became "speech (3 or 4 different forms), debate (at least two forms), mock congress, and--get this, artistes--Competitive Acting." Speech and Debate just doesn't suffice.
Anyway, I did the Competitive Acting bit. Dramatic Interpretation, Humorous(ly bad) Interpretation, Duo Interpretation, Prose and Poetry. In each, the student would take a book, play or screenplay and cut and paste it into a (hopefully) coherent and (when lucky) interesting 10 minute performance. My speech coach stumbled onto a dusty book called Sidetracked Home Executives. Prone to a dangerous mix of irony and nostalgia, our coach thought we should put together a mildly satirical, ultimately heartfelt DUO based on the authors: classic old-school housewives and their systems and processes to run their homes in a time when a new bundt pan could really rock your socks.
Now, at the time, I had no idea how brainwashed I was being by "progressive feminism and democracy." ...hold on, lemme just pull out the soapbox. Ok, got it....
I was raised believing that women and men were equal. That women could (and should) have the same careers and, basically, lives as men. We should approach relationships the same way (ick), work the same way (ouch), have the same interests and hold marriage and family at the same very low level as (most) men. It didn't occur to me until midway through college that this isn't actually practical. And, more upsetting, many women who were caught up in the early feminism craze have come forward stating that they feel robbed of the opportunity to have a real family.
What did feminism--the way most people understood it--do? It took all the glory out of being a woman. To say that women should work like men is to say that the way women have worked throughout history isn't noble or downright incredible. Well, it is. And now, thank Gd, most feminists are catching on that the whole POINT is to give women the CHOICE.* No, you don't HAVE to be just like a man to be fulfilled. In fact, it's pretty awesome to be a woman. And it's nice to live in a time where jobs are open and women are more respected in the workplace, but really, are men respected in the house? Have we perhaps stumbled upon a bit of a double standard here?
Househusbands of the world unite!
Ok, back to my southern friends....
So, a few years after I am performing Sidetracked Home Executives to teeny tiny audiences on the Forensics circuit, I've landed at NYU's Tisch school and I'm in on a monologue workshop with the amazing Karen Kohlhaas. She's giving her schpiel on Why Actors Need Flylady (definitely worth a read if you haven't heard this!) and so I decide to check out this website. She explains it's a home/life management "system" (sort of) mainly geared towards stay-at-home-moms but particularly crucial for the working actor. So I sign up for her emails and I've been getting them for years now.
It wasn't until a few years in that I realized (you've probably guessed by now) that Flylady IS THE SIDETRACKED HOME EXECUTIVE!!! I've become a devotee of the very woman whose entire life view I thought had gone out with avocado refrigerators! Go figure!
So, hats off to you, Flylady. The "hotspots" are getting cleaned, my "DH" is happy to be no-shirt-for-work-panic free in the mornings, and I introduced the timer to my fifth grade class.
Cheers (you know, Purim's coming!),
k
Don't worry, I intend to clarify.
In high school, I was very involved (understatement) in forensics. "What?" you ask, wondering what high schooler occupies herself with the examination of crime scenes.
Ohhh... not that kind of forensics. Forensics is the inexplicable moniker that's replaced "speech and debate" since "speech and debate" became "speech (3 or 4 different forms), debate (at least two forms), mock congress, and--get this, artistes--Competitive Acting." Speech and Debate just doesn't suffice.
Anyway, I did the Competitive Acting bit. Dramatic Interpretation, Humorous(ly bad) Interpretation, Duo Interpretation, Prose and Poetry. In each, the student would take a book, play or screenplay and cut and paste it into a (hopefully) coherent and (when lucky) interesting 10 minute performance. My speech coach stumbled onto a dusty book called Sidetracked Home Executives. Prone to a dangerous mix of irony and nostalgia, our coach thought we should put together a mildly satirical, ultimately heartfelt DUO based on the authors: classic old-school housewives and their systems and processes to run their homes in a time when a new bundt pan could really rock your socks.
Now, at the time, I had no idea how brainwashed I was being by "progressive feminism and democracy." ...hold on, lemme just pull out the soapbox. Ok, got it....
I was raised believing that women and men were equal. That women could (and should) have the same careers and, basically, lives as men. We should approach relationships the same way (ick), work the same way (ouch), have the same interests and hold marriage and family at the same very low level as (most) men. It didn't occur to me until midway through college that this isn't actually practical. And, more upsetting, many women who were caught up in the early feminism craze have come forward stating that they feel robbed of the opportunity to have a real family.
What did feminism--the way most people understood it--do? It took all the glory out of being a woman. To say that women should work like men is to say that the way women have worked throughout history isn't noble or downright incredible. Well, it is. And now, thank Gd, most feminists are catching on that the whole POINT is to give women the CHOICE.* No, you don't HAVE to be just like a man to be fulfilled. In fact, it's pretty awesome to be a woman. And it's nice to live in a time where jobs are open and women are more respected in the workplace, but really, are men respected in the house? Have we perhaps stumbled upon a bit of a double standard here?
Househusbands of the world unite!
Ok, back to my southern friends....
So, a few years after I am performing Sidetracked Home Executives to teeny tiny audiences on the Forensics circuit, I've landed at NYU's Tisch school and I'm in on a monologue workshop with the amazing Karen Kohlhaas. She's giving her schpiel on Why Actors Need Flylady (definitely worth a read if you haven't heard this!) and so I decide to check out this website. She explains it's a home/life management "system" (sort of) mainly geared towards stay-at-home-moms but particularly crucial for the working actor. So I sign up for her emails and I've been getting them for years now.
It wasn't until a few years in that I realized (you've probably guessed by now) that Flylady IS THE SIDETRACKED HOME EXECUTIVE!!! I've become a devotee of the very woman whose entire life view I thought had gone out with avocado refrigerators! Go figure!
So, hats off to you, Flylady. The "hotspots" are getting cleaned, my "DH" is happy to be no-shirt-for-work-panic free in the mornings, and I introduced the timer to my fifth grade class.Cheers (you know, Purim's coming!),
k
* My teacher, Devorah Kigel, gives an amazing series of classes for married and engaged women in which she pointed out the relatively recent story of a female politician who stepped down from her role to spend more time with her family. She was slammed by the feminists, totally denying her her privilege to choose how to prioritize her time!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
TV-FREE!
Monday was Day 1 of our Netflix-and-Hulu-free home.
We'd already made the decision when we moved here not to have TV or cable, but we thought Netflix would be a great way to still get a movie in here or there.But Netflix is much more clever than that. My experience was that Netflix induces this crazy-movie-watching-industriousness. There's ALWAYS a movie there. One you want to watch. And once you watch it, there's another one coming. And you have this LIST to get through, so you better start watching! So we were watching at least one, sometimes two movies a week. That's three hours a week down the drain. Not our initial intention.
So, on Sunday, we nixed Netflix and decided, for good measure, to ban Hulu from our home as well.
The results?
The whole house...
Is clean.
It's a beautiful thing, this TV free life.
We might even take up Scrabble again.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Cooking for a boy...
...is hard.
Our first meal here, I decided to make us a nice dinner. I made a lovely fish dinner from a cookbook my mom gave me ages ago. I served it with salad. I was cooking for two, so I doubled my portion.
Big mistake.
About ten minutes after the meal, Noach starts to look uncomfortable. In his nicest, "I love you but" voice, he asks, "we-we're not having... anything else?"
Turns out that two girl portions does not a marriage feed. He doesn't even eat two of what I eat. It's more like three. It's crazy! Boys are so... different!
It hasn't gotten much better. I cook what I think is a ton (so that I'll have extra to freeze for later) but he still finishes it all! And generally the only times I entered the kitchen were to do either something fancy, like baking, or something so simple I wouldn't serve it to Noach. So every meal-literally, breakfast, lunch and dinner-turns into a three or four course extravaganza. It's crazy.
We did just do a massive shopping trip in the Costco produce section so we have lots and lots of fruits and veggies to eat up. We signed up for a CSA in North Jersey but it doesn't start until the 21st. We're very excited to see what crazy fruits and veggies we end up with! I don't know how to cook kale, do you?
So anyway, I'm still working on it. We definitely have enough baked goods to last us (I bake under pressure, a la Izzie Stevens), but I need main courses and side dishes. That are quick. And preferably freezable. And healthy. And don't have meat or potatoes, which we don't really eat.
Any ideas?
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Newlyweds
Noach (alias: Omri, my husband) and I just got back from a really nice Shabbos in Monsey. Seeing a deer on Shabbos is just cool. Walking through the forest to get to shul is also pretty great. And the family that invited us, an older couple that Noach used to work with, were adorable... like having an extra set of grandparents. And I think they enjoyed having some young blood around to change up the conversation.
Beyond that... I had trouble with the size of everything. How is it possible people in Israel make do with an apartment and here we all need museums? It's so cut-off and private. And this coming from a classic introvert who likes nothing better than to be alone! But not REALLY alone, which is how I feel in a huge empty house on a huge empty lot on a huge street filled with more of the same. I can't imagine living somewhere like that and not getting the "keeping up with the Joneses" mania. I didn't get this from the people... that's just my reaction to the size of everything. But I have pretty well-documented rich people phobia. Maybe THAT'S why I feel so much more comfortable in Israel.
I'm also starting to understand the warnings about The Chutz better. Everyone always says, "don't go to Brooklyn or Monsey and think you're not living in galus." I couldn't believe anyone would actually make that mistake. But all Shabbos, I only saw two people who weren't Jewish. And I didn't see any Jews who weren't frum. That's crazy. And there's such a weirdness about it. These people shouldn't all be here. All these Jews, and so badly needed in Eretz Yisrael. And they have the ability to make the move, at least financially. It's so weird to be in America and feel like it's just all Jews. Because it is so not.
One fact always ringing in my mind is that a few years before the Shoah, a Jewish Englishman was in charge of the "Palistinean authority." Any Jew who wanted to make aliyah was allowed. And nobody did. They still had money, they still had prestiege, and they had no reason to suspect that the world would go crazy and blood-thirsty in a few years. Granted, Israel was very different then. Scattered, small communities and nothing close to the opportunities we see there today. But today we look back and shake our heads and think, "if only they'd gone when they had the chance." Today we are PAID to go to Israel. (B"H for Nefesh b'Nefesh. Here is Aish's 1 minute video on them.) They give us the flight. They help us find jobs, communities, ulpanim, apartments. They practically help us pack our bags. And yet we still have the chutzpa to stay.
I'm loving Passaic. Everyone here is growth oriented, giving, warm, and very spiritual. But I would love to know why Noach and I are in the position that we are in. I feel exiled from Israel. I think back of memories in Israel and it's as if we were living in color. Here we're in sepia. And living in color was draining, for sure. The fear was real and the stress was real, but the connection was so much more intense, and the love and joy was so much more full.
I guess that's just where I am right now. Really Missing Israel. A Lot. It comes in waves.
And while I don't really wish not being in Israel on anyone, thank Gd I get to go through this with my husband. Noach has become my channel. He is so plugged in spiritually, I just need to sit and listen to him to be inspired. It's as if he still has one foot in Jerusalem, and he's been here longer. I don't think he feels that way. I remember being on the phone with him after he'd been home a few months, and him telling me how you could feel the difference from here to there. That it was palpable. I remember my heart sinking, as I was already full of fear about the move back to the States.
Maybe I should just refocus on the piles of laundry and stuff that need to be decluttered from this house. Noach's friend Meir always says how a mentor of his said that you have to be zoche to live in Israel. So maybe this time can be about building us up to be people that don't just take from Israel but find a way to give to Israel.
Ah, before I go. Wedding pictures are up. Our photographer, Max Orenstein did an incredible job capturing an incredible day. Here are his highlights. Here's one of my favorites:
Beyond that... I had trouble with the size of everything. How is it possible people in Israel make do with an apartment and here we all need museums? It's so cut-off and private. And this coming from a classic introvert who likes nothing better than to be alone! But not REALLY alone, which is how I feel in a huge empty house on a huge empty lot on a huge street filled with more of the same. I can't imagine living somewhere like that and not getting the "keeping up with the Joneses" mania. I didn't get this from the people... that's just my reaction to the size of everything. But I have pretty well-documented rich people phobia. Maybe THAT'S why I feel so much more comfortable in Israel.
I'm also starting to understand the warnings about The Chutz better. Everyone always says, "don't go to Brooklyn or Monsey and think you're not living in galus." I couldn't believe anyone would actually make that mistake. But all Shabbos, I only saw two people who weren't Jewish. And I didn't see any Jews who weren't frum. That's crazy. And there's such a weirdness about it. These people shouldn't all be here. All these Jews, and so badly needed in Eretz Yisrael. And they have the ability to make the move, at least financially. It's so weird to be in America and feel like it's just all Jews. Because it is so not.
One fact always ringing in my mind is that a few years before the Shoah, a Jewish Englishman was in charge of the "Palistinean authority." Any Jew who wanted to make aliyah was allowed. And nobody did. They still had money, they still had prestiege, and they had no reason to suspect that the world would go crazy and blood-thirsty in a few years. Granted, Israel was very different then. Scattered, small communities and nothing close to the opportunities we see there today. But today we look back and shake our heads and think, "if only they'd gone when they had the chance." Today we are PAID to go to Israel. (B"H for Nefesh b'Nefesh. Here is Aish's 1 minute video on them.) They give us the flight. They help us find jobs, communities, ulpanim, apartments. They practically help us pack our bags. And yet we still have the chutzpa to stay.
I'm loving Passaic. Everyone here is growth oriented, giving, warm, and very spiritual. But I would love to know why Noach and I are in the position that we are in. I feel exiled from Israel. I think back of memories in Israel and it's as if we were living in color. Here we're in sepia. And living in color was draining, for sure. The fear was real and the stress was real, but the connection was so much more intense, and the love and joy was so much more full.
I guess that's just where I am right now. Really Missing Israel. A Lot. It comes in waves.
And while I don't really wish not being in Israel on anyone, thank Gd I get to go through this with my husband. Noach has become my channel. He is so plugged in spiritually, I just need to sit and listen to him to be inspired. It's as if he still has one foot in Jerusalem, and he's been here longer. I don't think he feels that way. I remember being on the phone with him after he'd been home a few months, and him telling me how you could feel the difference from here to there. That it was palpable. I remember my heart sinking, as I was already full of fear about the move back to the States.
Maybe I should just refocus on the piles of laundry and stuff that need to be decluttered from this house. Noach's friend Meir always says how a mentor of his said that you have to be zoche to live in Israel. So maybe this time can be about building us up to be people that don't just take from Israel but find a way to give to Israel.
Ah, before I go. Wedding pictures are up. Our photographer, Max Orenstein did an incredible job capturing an incredible day. Here are his highlights. Here's one of my favorites:
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