New blog

Just as I have many journals with only a few pages written, I seem to have caught the virtual "starting over" blog bug.

Follow our latest adventures over at Camp Geshmack.

Is Social Media Boxing Us In?

After reading the great article, Top 5 Reasons To Tweet, a few discussions about this with my husband, and months to mull this over without a chance to sit down and write (thanks, baby girl!), I'm left with a question.

How does today's 20-something market himself in a world that (in my opinion) hasn't caught up?  Social media marketing repeatedly requires someone to sum himself up in a one-liner.  Which, for my grandfather, for instance, would have been easy.  Expert maritime lawyer.  Done.  But today, we're not so willing to sum ourselves up--most people I know are more interested in developing a variety of often totally unrelated interests.

Take, for instance, my friend Faryn's Twitter profile (she's funny for money, so this has to be): "One ninth of the sketch comedy group Harvard Sailing Team. One half of the baking co. Fanny & Jane. One third of a casting team. So-so at fractions."


My point exactly.

So how would I sum myself up?

I could go from my professional side and pick: elementary school teacher or website producer.
I could go from the family side and write about being a wife and/or young mother.
I could go from the spiritual side and brand myself based on my interest in Torah learning and Jewish philosophy.

I doubt anyone is looking to find a tweeter with that particular combination, but I'm loathe to drop any one of them.  I'd like to develop each into an expertise over time, and while I don't need to tweet about the progress Adina is or isn't making with her crawling, I do think that being a work-at-home mom involves its own challenges, and Twitter is a great place to get support and ideas.  Obviously continuing to work on the internet and hopefully becoming more of an expert in website development and design lends itself well to Twitter.  And if, though this is far-fetched, I ever get my act together to start putting together regular classes or blogs on Jewish thought, that is something I would certainly want to share.

Does/did anyone else have this issue?

Breaking News: Baby Sucks Thumb!

3 months. Enjoy!

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The song I sang throughout my pregnancy...

Don't know much about you 
Don't know who you are 
We've been doing fine without you 
But, we could only go so far 
Don't know why you chose us 
Were you watching from above 
Is there someone there that knows us 
Said we'd give you all our love 


Will you laugh just like your mother 
Will you sigh like your old man 
Will some things skip a generation 
Like I've heard they often can 
Are you a poet or a dancer 
A devil or a clown 
Or a strange new combination of 
The things we've handed down 


I wonder who you'll look like 
Will your hair fall down and curl 
Will you be a mama's boy 
Or daddy's little girl 
Will you be a sad reminder 
Of what's been lost along the way 
Maybe you can help me find her 
In the things you do and say 

And these things that we have given you 
They are not so easily found 
But you can thank us later 
For the things we've handed down 


You may not always be so grateful 
For the way that you were made 
Some feature of your father's 
That you'd gladly sell or trade 
And one day you may look at us 
And say that you were cursed 
But over time that line has been 
Extremely well rehearsed 
By our fathers, and their fathers 
In some old and distant town 
From places no one here remembers 
Come the things we've handed down 

Day 1 of Urban Organics

Its kindof like a CSA.

Tonight's dinner:
Green chard sauteed in evoo, garlic and onion YUM!
Huge red leaf lettuce and spinach salad with lots of toppings and my first crack at my own italian dressing.
Veggie chips- carrots yams and potatoes baked with salt pepper and paprika.
Whole wheat couscous with green olives and cranberries.

Still loooots of veggies to go before next week! More veggie chips and soup and maybe smoothies on the menu....

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What's Adina like?

Who knows how much of this will be accurate down the line, but we think we see some definite character traits.

First of all, she is, bli eyin hara (literally: "without the evil eye), a very easy baby.  She is often described as "gentle," which is the meaning of her name, Adina.  (Actually, after seeing this strong correlation, Noach/Omri and I are determined to start naming our children by easy-going character traits.)

I guess all babies seem funny, but I have to say it.  Each morning I wake up next to her (I rarely have the energy to get her back into her cradle after nursing at night) and watch her sleep.  When she wakes up, if I'm still there, she looks at me and is soon smiling as if we share the most fabulous secret in the world.  It's such an adult expression that I forget she's a baby for a while.  She loves cooing at people and stuffed animals.  Sometimes she'll lie in my bed as I'm getting ready in the morning and just coo at the room.

This morning, after getting up for a few minutes, I was crawling (sick) back into bed and found her sleeping on her back with her arms completely spread open.  At not even three months, she's managed to take up my. entire. spot. on the bed.

Oh... and sometimes she smiles like she's laughing at me.  I wouldn't be surprised.  

New pictures and videos on our Picasa album.

soccerdeentz

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adinavid

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TV free.. again?

Two great discoveries of the day:  One, the FlyLady chat where, I kid you not, we cheered each other on all day.  Every time I sat down and could have gotten distracted by the computer, I pulled up that tab and within a minute or two I was sent off to do another "mission."

My second great discovery was that I can create a smart playlist on iTunes that plays unheard podcasts.  This will be much-used.  I re-subscribed to a bunch of NPR stations.  I un-subscribed to all the teacher stations.  I stayed subscribed to FlyLady.  Groupie, I know.

And the failed TV-free home experiment from ages back is a bit back up and running.  We now have "weekly goals" in the house (I'm super excited about this).  Now when Shabbos comes along, we can see how we did on one specific thing over the last week.  One week is just long enough to see what life is like with your goal being implemented, and short enough to stick with it.  Well, we agreed to do a shared goal: no TV (well, Hulu) or movies.  Man, this one is HARD.  But we're almost to Shabbos and I have to admit, I got a LOT more done, did much more reading than I usually do (which still isn't enough but I only have so much down time), and we got to bed much earlier than we otherwise would have.  So TV free is awesome.  But I am looking forward to catching up on the Shonda Rhimes trifecta.

Vacation!

Our plans for next year are very up-in-the-air at the moment.  One thing that is up in the air is whether or not I will be able to be teaching next year.

So every day off now is like a trial day.  Can I do this?  Be home with the baby all day?

One concern was whether I would be productive.  I learned today to be more specific with my concerns.  Oh, I was productive.  Six or seven freshly made challot (challah loaves), heaps of chocolate chip cookies, cranberry and cranberry/blueberry scones.  Dinner just about on the table, hubs about to walk in the door... this was a full day of work, easily.  (Add in taking care of The Deentz and leaving the house tidy after all that baking!)

The problem is, this isn't the kind of productive I meant when I created that concern.

I meant, can I run the house, get good bonding time in with the baby (being a work-from-home-mom hardly pays if you're just shoving a toy in front of the baby and working the whole time) and DO MY JOB from home?

I hope today isn't cause for concern.

I have plenty to be doing and lots of exciting articles going up (stay tuned!).  But I just couldn't get myself to stay here in front of the computer.  The only argument in my defense is that this chair is AWFUL.  I literally start to ache within a minute of sitting down.  Maybe it's time to cash in the massage hubs bought me for last Rosh Chodesh........

So there's my conundrum of the day.  I've learned how to get off my tush and get to work... but how to stop getting to the wrong kind of work and refocus?

New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths

From TheOnion.com

New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths

DECEMBER 7, 2009 | ISSUE 45•50

MINNEAPOLIS—A study published Monday in The Journal Of Child Psychology And Psychiatry has concluded that an estimated 98 percent of children under the age of 10 are remorseless sociopaths with little regard for anything other than their own egocentric interests and pleasures.

Data shows that many seemingly innocent children—such as this one—are not to be trusted.

According to Dr. Leonard Mateo, a developmental psychologist at the University of Minnesota and lead author of the study, most adults are completely unaware that they could be living among callous monsters who would remorselessly exploit them to obtain something as insignificant as an ice cream cone or a new toy.

"The most disturbing facet of this ubiquitous childhood disorder is an utter lack of empathy," Mateo said. "These people—if you can even call them that—deliberately violate every social norm without ever pausing to consider how their selfish behavior might affect others. It's as if they have no concept of anyone but themselves."

"The depths of depravity that these tiny psychopaths are capable of reaching are really quite chilling," Mateo added.

According to the Hare Psychopathy Checklist, a clinical diagnostic tool, sociopaths often display superficial charm, pathological lying, manipulative behaviors, and a grandiose sense of self-importance. After observing 700 children engaged in everyday activities, Mateo and his colleagues found that 684 exhibited these behaviors at a severe or profound level.

The children studied also displayed many secondary hallmarks of antisocial personality disorder, most notably poor impulse control, an inability to plan ahead, and a proclivity for violence—often in the form of extended tantrums—when their needs were not immediately met.

"Children will use any tool at their disposal to secure gratification," Mateo said. "And as soon as the desire is fulfilled, be it some material want or simply an insatiable and narcissistic desire for validation, they quickly become bored and lose interest in their victims, all the while thinking only of satisfying whatever their next hedonistic craving might be."

Because children are so skilled at mimicking normal human emotions and will say anything without consideration for accuracy or truth, Mateo said that people often don't realize that they've been exploited until it is too late. Though he maintained that anyone can fall victim to a child's egocentric behavior, Mateo warned that grandmothers were especially susceptible to the self- serving machinations of tiny little sociopaths.Mateo added that even when subjects were directly confronted with the consequences of their inexplicable behavior, they had little or no capacity for expressing guilt, other than insincere utterances of "sorry" that were usually coerced.

Despite the overwhelming evidence presented in the study, its findings have been met with heavy criticism from people who associate with children on a regular basis.

Batavia, NY resident and 38-year-old mother Mary Corcoran echoed the sentiments of many other adults who refuse to believe they are sharing their homes with merciless predators.

"Not my Jimmy. Just this morning, he told me I was the best mommy in the whole world," Corcoran said of her son, 5. "In fact, he's been such a sweet little boy this month that Santa just may bring him everything he asks for."

According to renowned child psychologist Dr. Pritha Singh, author ofBorn Without Souls, diagnosing preadolecents as sociopaths is primarily a theoretical interest, as the disorder is considered untreatable.

"We've tried behavior modification therapies, but children actually learn from our techniques and become even more adept at manipulating others while concealing their shameless misanthropy," Singh said. "Sadly, experience has taught us there is little hope for rehabilitation."

"Just look at the way most adults act," Singh added.
TheOnion.com

Bring some beauty into your day.

Check out the new short by the amazing Meryl&Marina, "Every Day I Wake Up And Try Not To Die."

Amazing filming, performances, and music.  And, as it says, "it sounds morbid, but it's not."  At 4 minutes, you have no excuse not to watch it.

Watching this reminded me that film is truly an art form, and that most of what I see is definitely NOT art.  

Enjoy!  

Jerseyku2

Redeem yourself now

Dirty cold white on my street.

Yes.  Snow Day.  Well played.

AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING!!!

MUST see!

TED talk on success

Jersey haiku

Piles of dirty snow
Chairs save spots to park between
Get me out of here

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Ode to stretch marks

The baby may as well have scrawled "Adina wuz here" across my torso. Nevertheless, even though I vividly remember my horror over seeing on other mommies the battle scars of pregnancy, I love my shifted shape. Maybe because I got sick of passing for a highschooler, or maybe because this pregnancy was so difficult and scary that to come out unscathed would seem anticlimactic. But my stretch marks remind me that the stork did not do the heavy lifting on our baby girl. I did. Its surprisingly easy to overcome body issues once the body has been repurposed. It is not here for aesthetic pleasure. It housed a life, fed it and protected it and strengthened it. Stretch marks are my evidence of the amazing fact that Hashem had the wisdom to encase our skeletons in something that CAN stretch.

The downside, however, is that I still need to find the motivation to get my body back. Its so hard to be enthusiastic when I am sooo tired. I understand all those daytime talk show women who pointed to their children as when they started to lose control and gain weight. I understand them but do not want to be one of them. Hm... any ideas for inspiration?

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She's teensy!!

Its not worth trying to update this with everything from the last month of pregnancy, the labor, delivery, first days with her in the hospital, and our first week home. Suffice it to say, its been a whirlwind. These days we are sticking around the house, obsessing over our new little one, and learning to function without sleep. Conclusion... i had no idea a baby could be sooooo tiny!

The Toolbox

One concept in Jewish thought that I always liked is written about beautifully in the book Woman to Woman (which is based on a series of lectures by Rebbetzin Esther Greenberg).  Basically, the idea goes like this: if you were a construction worker with some kind with an intelligent foreman for a boss, you could show up at work one day and, based entirely on what is in your toolbox and where you are, figure out what you are meant to do that day at work.  Of course, we are the worker and Gd is the foreman.  Our gifts and passions are within our toolbox and our life's circumstances are the setting.  


Ok, now that I've butchered that I can move on.  


I was recently fortunate to spend a Shabbos meal with some NYU students, including a woman who recently graduated from the same theater program I went to.  We discussed our shared feelings of conflict over being theater artists who had become passionate about our Judaism.  We came to term our Torah learning a "wakening of the sleeping giant."  Inconvenient, but ultimately not something one can ignore.  There's a giant in the room.  An awake one.  That changes the situation.


So here we are, albeit still in two somewhat different places, trying to figure out this delicate balance between our creative gifts and passions and the indescribable beauty of Torah and a Torah lifestyle.  


And I think it is starting to be time to check out that back burner which has been caring for my artistic soul for the last two years while I've explored a new part of myself.  


While I am happy with the choices I've made and certainly wouldn't take anything back, I am inarguably in a different place than I ever expected to be.  


Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht. (Yiddish proverb- Man plans and Gd laughs.)


Forget the Orthodox Jewish bit (if you can fit that pink elephant into the corner for a moment, thank you).  How about the married bit?  The imminently arriving BABY bit?  The--dare I say it--living in SUBURBAN NEW JERSEY bit?


This was not the plan.  And I'd spent a good decade crafting this plan.  And I spent much of the last two years trying to craft a NEW fabulous plan that would make this all fit neatly together.  Way to learn the lesson, self.


And yet, I wouldn't change a thing.  No, this is not the route to my Oscar.  Nor are we buying our one-way tickets to Israel any time soon.  How unglamorous of us.


On the other hand, I am currently engaged in the single most creative act known to mankind.  THIS SECOND.  And this one. 


It's time to accept that this is not the workplace I anticipated.  The needs of the world I live in now are not the needs I thought I would one day fill.  What I have to offer will not be received the way I had planned out.  Nu?  It's taken me two years to come to terms with this?  I've been observing this phenomenon for all this time without swallowing that pill (which ultimately I don't think is even such a bad pill to swallow!).


It's time to look into the toolbox, get a good lay of the land, and start building.

Thoughts on Pregnancy or... Birth Control For The Weak-Hearted or... Things I'd Post On Facebook But I Think You'd Judge Me

1. I was under the mistaken impression that an unborn child couldn't keep you up all night.
In reality, I feel like this:

All the time.

2.  It used to seem logical that if you were exhausted at 9 PM, you could probably go to bed.
In reality, exhaustion at 9 PM is really just your body playing a cruel trick because really, right before you fall asleep, you'll bounce back and be full of energy until about 3 AM at which point you've read enough about the Salmonella crisis to finally peel your eyelids off your hairline and consider nodding off.  Oh, and that Camomile tea (which I haven't been able to sleep one night without) will make sure that you're up again around 5 AM.  And wired.  Because who can sleep after three nightmares in a row about a missing nursery and nowhere to put the baby?  (Why THIS bothers me is a bit confusing... we know we won't have a nursery so it's a moot point.  Wouldn't my brain be more entertained with anxiety over birth or car seats?)

3.  If a pregnant woman's appetite is supposed to be justified by the phrase "eating for two," I'm taking it upon myself to release this PSA to all expecting women.  Sometimes baby invites thirty friends over for a dinner party, and you'll be expected to feed them all.  NOW.  Gd help anyone who gets in your way.

4.  I was also certain until recently that the baby could not get a hold of bricks and Leggos until after the actual birth.  But, having reviewed human anatomy and finding nothing that could possibly be so hard and stabby as what's sticking out of my tummy, I'm convinced that somebody's providing toys to baby.  And I'm thinking of suing.

Thank Gd for new shoes, new makeup, (so at least I don't look quite as bad as I feel) and a hubby who's learned very quickly that when I stop using full sentences, he's going to be in charge of dishes that night.

And when I never managed a full sentence in the first place, we'll be ordering pizza.